little hands in a tree

I don't know how old I was
five or six maybe 
just big enough to climb in the cedar tree
in my grandparents front yard
with the help of my sister or maybe a cousin 
My spot was the lowest branch cause I was the youngest
I remember sitting in the tree on summers day
and just staring at the palm of my hand
in wonder
that hand belonged to me
it was mine
I was a clumsy kid mostly
I couldn't bounce a ball right
didn't learn to swim or ride a bike
till way after all the other kids my age
I guess the truth was I was too afraid
And the fear disconnected me from my body 
it didn't feel like my own
but I remember that day 
in that tree staring at the palm of my hand
and knowing understanding it belonged to me
No one else 
Somehow -- my soul was part of a body
and I remember it just seemed to blow my mind
staring at my hand my fingers and wiggling them
amazed that they followed my thoughts command
It was such an intimate moment of discovery
I remember that feeling of wonder
of mine -- my control 
my soul my mind connected 
It is something that we all take for granted
we move walk wiggle toes -- close eyes 
make fists and funny faces
we have bodies we feed
scratch, rub or soak in a tub
I don't know to this day 
if I was slow cause I was so disconnected
or if it just meant more gratitude and a stronger 
connection -- when finally made and integrated
ingrained -- feeling my body and muscles move
noticing every twitch and itch 
senses strong 
but I was clumsy 
and fear kept me from my connection
I am sure
tripping stumbling falling 
like I was just mind -- or heart 
but to have a body what a gift 
How amazing
Good to remember 
to look at your hands 
now and again and move them
and think wow that is amazing

Categories poetry, spiritualityTags , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close